Horowitz Exposes Comey as Serial Leaker, Tops Friday Roundup

By: - August 30, 2019

It’s the Friday before Labor Day and your mind isn’t on work. So while you’re pretending to do your job to con your boss, and avoiding that jerk from across the office that is always snooping, give us a glance to buttress the charade. We’re helpful in that way. Because…

This is Friday Roundup:

  • As far as we know James Comey does not have a bladder control problem. So it may not be that kind of leakage. Though he does seem like the type of man who has gone around with a diaper continuously since early in life. He does have a bottom-feeding corrupt cop and traitor-to-his-oath problem. Hence the details of part of the report by Department of Justice Inspector General Michael Horowitz you have seen for a couple of days. I won’t repeat what you’ve already read, except to say Comey more than deserves whatever negative circumstances fall his way. He is a rare subset of DC trash, a guy who can’t even lie well.
  • Former Canadian Prime Minister Kim Campbell has said she hopes Hurricane Dorian hits the Mar-a-Lago estate of President Trump. We would wish her the same fate. But since her Canadian venues are likely only full of igloos made of cheap beer, rabid beaver habitats, and crashingly boring Anglo-Saxons, we are unlikely to find a decent estate there at all.
  • CNN’s Don Lemon, not content with his current laughing stock status, is adding protofascist to his resume. He believes anyone defending the president should not be on CNN because by doing so they are inherently lying. Ah, all the joys of  Pravda and Isvestia, as practiced by Lemon and CNN.
  • Actor Liam Hemsworth has woken up from whatever hallucinogens he’s been on and is divorcing human garbage bin and not quite MENSA member Miley Cyrus. Like getting over a particularly loathsome hangover, he will soon look in the bathroom mirror, slowly shake his head, and softly murmur, “What the f*** was I thinking?”
  • By getting Her Majesty to prorogue parliament, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has outmaneuvered effete Remainers and all but assured Brexit on Halloween. Our confidence in the former Spectator editor has not been misplaced.
  • Rod Rosenstein, who is coming off a lot better these days, blasted both MSNBC and CNN pundits on the Comey question, saying of their defense of Comey’s abuse of power, “Notice how the pundits completely miss the point and thereby illustrate it.” Not a bad line.
  • The Democratic Party Just Said NO to religion last Saturday, the DNC calling the “religiously unaffiliated” (read: nasty and loony secular atheists) the biggest “religious [ummmm…] group” within the party at a meeting in, where else, San Francisco. No doubt while walking to the confab from their hotels they had to dodge piles of their policy credibility lying about on the sidewalks. The statement went on to excoriate faith in general and imply any believer is a knuckle-dragging idiot. Well, voodoo social policies and infant sacrifice have been part of their pagan (Not the fun pagans like the Vikings either. Just the boring peasant animists) playbook for decades now. So this is of little surprise. But you know, if I was the GOTV chief at RNC on general Election Day 2020, I’d try damned hard to ensure every black Southern Baptist church member in America knew what the Dems think of them and their beliefs. Every. Last. One.
  • And finally, British candymaker Cadbury is facing a kerfuffle over its, get this, attempt to promote Indian national harmony by nobly selling four types of chocolates in the huge subcontinental confectionary bazaar. They are dark, blended, milk, and white. The company feels (obviously not thinks) that a marketing ploy will motivate the countless millions of the country to run out and embrace in ecumenical love the faith and ethnicity of those fellow Indians they’ve been gleefully slaughtering for hundreds of years. Restaurant critic Tejal Rao amusingly responded, “Congratulations to Cadbury for solving racism.” There was a fifth flavor they were contemplating, Double Diversity Fudge. It looked good on paper, but was flavored with nausea and left a sanctimonious taste in your mouth. Have a good weekend.