We all know you don’t mess with Texas… and Texans aren’t messing around in driving a message home whether you’re a local or from out of town. If you come across the following signs, you may be in Texas and you may want to heed them.
The Texans behind these signs package up bluntness and humor as dry as the Texas desert in a friendly package.
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Texan signage can even be compassionate offering insight on how to avoid a painful death, and make you feel especially stupid for even thinking about disobeying the overt danger warning.
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And that covers all the bases.
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For those too simple to understand, Texan signs can be extremely helpful in explaining how it will all go wrong… and not in your favor in a court of law.
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When “Danger Helicopters Operate in This Area” is not enough to deter passersby from approaching “a big noisy thing”…
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If you’re feeling either impatient or adventurous…
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Don’t mess with Texas’ daughters… It could be dangerous.
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On the other hand, if you do survive despite the aforementioned warnings (or because of them), you may want to take note on how you could possibly collect $200 at the ol’ “going to jail sale”…
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Such sign humor may be old fashioned to some, but possibly helpful to others like any bar hoppers out on the prowl that come across this ‘BYOW’ signage.
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If you thought about being “that” person at the bar, hopefully, this sign will make you think twice.
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This may be a more friendly place to wash down your lonely sorrows in case you are not hanging your hat in Tennessee.
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If you come across this one and try to find out whether or not these nachos are one-size-fits-all, you can take advantage of the free wireless internet while you do so… Clearing your plate could take a while.
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…Meat, meat, more meat and pie. And all of it the size of Texas.
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Refer back to the Texas food pyramid.
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Texans can be also be as callously sensitive (or not) about what constitutes a “truck”.
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But regardless of what you drive… you’ve got options!
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Seeing Texas super-imposed on Europe helps make the visual connection to WHY it takes so long to drive across the 773-miles wide and 801-miles tall state, second in size only to Alaska.
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While looking for Dallas across the flatness, you may even hear a Lubbock resident or two referring to torrential downpours of rain as “toad chokers.”
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If you’ve ever been to Texas in the summer time, or lived there, you’ll understand what scorching degrees Fahrenheit correspond with “summerer.”
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You’ll also know just how adept this up-cycled rain gage is for its task in areas that with seasonal (and hurricane) exception largely consists of catching nothing but dust.
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For example, from snow one day to scorching heat the next, Laredo doesn’t mess around when it comes to keeping the friendly locals checking the forecast.
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Alpine on the other hand doesn’t hold back in giving itself an unofficial numbers boost…
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That passive-aggressiveness comes in such a friendly package though!
