Red is Dead

By: - September 7, 2019

It is a shame, but I guess it was clear it was bound to happen. The weak-minded, triggered and completely incapable of navigating life snowflakes have found their cause to rally around. The news of Rebecca Makkai, the novelist, imploring everyone through her Twitter account to stop wearing red hats is a step so absurd, even the Left were taken aback. She said it is too scary for everyone and called for “normal” people to stop wearing them. She went as far as to include all red baseball-type caps. She means those worn by lots of sports teams like the Washington Wizards, the Boston Red Sox, the Cincinnati Reds, the St. Louis Cardinals, the Buffalo Bills, the Chicago Bulls, the Cleveland Indians, the Alabama Crimson Tide…and the list goes on. Seems the very color red is the issue.

Maybe there is a theme there. Sen. Kamala Harris (D) wants us to stop eating meat, “red” meat that is. So, what is the problem? It must be the color red by itself. Let’s see, what else is red? The Republican-leaning states are colored red on political maps. It is clear the Left would like that color to change in those states. Isn’t Chick-fil-A‘s sign red? We know the Left doesn’t like them either.

This could get bad though. If the Left really gets all triggered and goes off the deep end —well, they sort of already  have— think of all the red things that must be banned. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D) will have to change her lipstick color. No more red high heel shoes. No more Christian Louboutin or Yves St. Laurent shoes with red soles will be allowed. The Hollywood elite will have to empty their closets over that one, and of course the walk down the red carpet will be a thing of the past. Careful what you wish for. I think the Left may not have thought this all the way through. No more red power ranger. No more Santa Claus, no more red crayons—they must be purged from every child’s coloring box. No more red apples for teachers either.

It is sad. As I get ready for work (yes, some of us on the Right do that because we are not asking for the government to give us everything for free), I look over my ties and lament that I can no longer wear my favorite red power tie. What a shame. It will be forever retired to the pile of things the Left has banned. So, I’ll have to wear a different tie.  I’ll pick something that goes with the clothes and surely wont trigger any of the “normal” people. What color, you ask?

Scarlet!