Trump Eyes Buying Greenland, Tops Friday Roundup

By: - August 16, 2019

Welcome to today’s only Epstein-free news zone! Because other stuff is happening in the world. As such…

This is Friday Roundup:

  • The president is expressing serious interest in purchasing Greenland from the Danes. Cool. I don’t mean cool as in good, though it kinda is that, but cool as in really brisk. I flew into Thule, Greenland, twice during my Army service (insert Henny Youngman joke here) and cups of liquid froze between the time I got off the plane and the time I entered a building on our air base there. The distance was about fifty yards and I walked it pretty quickly. Yeah, cool is the term. Though, I guess it’s about the same thing as buying Alaska. We did that from the Russians and it worked out. It seems we also made offers to Denmark for the island in 1867 and 1946. They didn’t bite. There are killjoy sources who have said Trump was merely joking. But since he used to be a real estate mogul, ergo…
  • Given our aforementioned pledge, we very briefly note: Bubba in a blue dress and, given his pasty complexion, patriotic red pumps.
  • An automatic weapon-wielding thug was cheered on by other neighborhood thugs who harrassed and shoved police during the Philadelphia shootout and standoff Wednesday. And the Dem War Against the Poh-lice proceeds apace.
  • Joe Biden and his gaffes are getting out of hand and are strengthening Elizabeth Warren’s run every day. She’s pulled ahead of Bernie —as we predicted here months ago— and we may be looking at a Warren/Booker ticket next year. That will be more probable if she beats Biden in the New Hampshire primary—next door to her Massachusetts and same media market. If the economy doesn’t go south the GOP can beat them. If…
  • …the recent stock market adjustment and the loss of yield on ten-year and two-year treasury notes are a harbinger of bad things to come, Trump will have a hard time next year. People generally vote on two main things: the economy and national security. National security is fine. The economy has been good and getting better. Up to now. Reports are this morning the stock market may gain big today. That will help us digest a sound breakfast.
  • CNN is not having a good week. Their April Ryan, an alleged free-press supporter, kicks a reporter out of a publicly held event. Don Lemon gets accused of groping a guy in the Hamptons. Perhaps I should say, while staying in the Hamptons. Then the Cuomo/Fredo thing all point to a brand on the slide. Combine that with their ever-dwindling ratings, which are below those of other titans of international news like the Golf Channel and HGTV, and the future for the beleaguered Bolshies may not hold broad, sunlit uplands. Maybe the DNC will make an honest concubine out of them and just buy the network outright.
  • There is talk in DC that Dems next year may focus on an issue they are calling “bank loan sharking,” charging exorbitant interest rates/fees to customers for bank overdrafts. That could be interesting, as it’s a bread and butter issue many working class voters would easily understand and likely agree with. Hmmm…
  • Portland, Oregon, will get hot this weekend, as Antifa and ultra-conservative demonstrators gear up for another ruckus. Last time the mayor and police stood aside as reporters and other non-participants were assaulted by Antifa. Innocent bystanders would be well advised this time to come non-innocently prepared to defend themselves.
  • Bibi Netanyahu boycotted the boycotters this week, denying two of the four Harridans of the Apocalypse permission to enter Israel. Properly done, as one does not invite vipers into your living room. Tlaib then asked to go the West Bank to see her 90-year-old grandmom, saying it could be the last time she might be able to see her relative given the lady’s advanced age. The Israelis, for humanitarian reasons, said yes. But Tlaib wasn’t expecting that. She wanted to bash them as heartless. So thus she cancelled the visit. I guess visiting elderly grandmom is not so important if you can’t score political points from the deal.
  • And finally, the president used the “C” word to describe the Dems last night. Get your minds out of the gutter. He said “communists.” Which is like calling a taxi a “cab.” Have a good weekend.