Vive La Resistance Américain!

By: - September 17, 2019

Are you in college? Or do you have a kid in college? Are you lucky enough that you/they are conservatives? Do you like to have fun?

By the way, given I did not mention the president or one of his Dem detractors in the headline or first paragraph and that the headline alone is composed in some absolutely indecipherable foreign tongue, 98 percent of potential readers have decided instead to peruse wrestling highlights or cat memes. For the five or six of you left, I continue…

Back story.

Was on the phone with a pal, a columnist at another publication, and she was lamenting the ideological intimidation and indoctrination her son is going through at a NY state school. The usual race hustling and PC crybaby stuff. Though at this school and many like it, that red fascism is backed up by the school authorities and if you ideologically rebel, even in classroom comment, you can be suspended or expelled.

I said to her that if they had ever tried that on me I would, of course, revert to the only proper mode for an American in that circumstance. I’d channel 1963’s “The Great Escape.” Specifically, the café scene with Sedgwick (James Coburn) where the French Résistance drives by and machine-guns relaxing Nazi officers.

Now, while taking an automatic weapon to said college national socialists is definitely verboten, other acts of less martial sabotage may be jolly good fun. After I mused on that I called some actual college-age chums and asked if such antics would work. They said as long as one was careful and vigilant, much like the French Résistance itself, it could work.

So, if you have conservative kids in college who are of a naturally rebellious nature, or are a college student yourself, I urge you to do to your Orwellian campus what Churchill urged the Special Operations Executive do to Europe: set it ablaze. Only this time, without explosives or Bren guns.

Read up on the FFI, the French Forces of the Interior. Then start to commit minor acts of cultural and intellectual sabotage against your PC college kommandants. You see, Bolshies expect us to hit them from the right by accurately calling them communists. But stealing their fire and labeling them the Gestapo and young conservatives the French Résistance? That stuff drives them batty. Trust me. I know from long experience what it does to them. It jangles their internal radar by switching the roles and it makes them act predictably more like the SS.

Even more amusing aspect? Some of the FFI were actual communists. So use commie insurgent tactics against commies. Wonderful irony, eh?

Though, if you prefer the Brit vs French variation, Sir Percy Blakeney works rather well as a role model.

If you decide on the trad Gallic route, recruit fellow college conservatives who have a sense of wry adventure. Then wear berets in private, listen to Edith Piaf and Django Reinhardt, smoke Gauloises, practice shrugging, and spray-paint an orange V on the door of the campus admin building. Think “Red Dawn” and the Wolverines, just at your school and forgoing the AKs and RPGs. After all, both Sedgwick and the Wolverines were in occupied territory, just like you. I would advise you to read Sartre, but that is too much to ask of even the most dedicated freedom fighter.

Hum the Marseillaise in class whenever some PC prof starts spouting Marxist gibberish, watch “Is Paris Burning?“, sleep around, dress well, paint the Cross of Lorraine wherever you can on campus, make cryptic references to Paul Verlaine, meet in secret, and drink cheap red wine. Be careful, be quiet, be sneaky about it. You’ll find the covert part just adds to the frivolity.

Take the battle to these classic red swot bureaucrat bastards. If they want to install a national socialist regime at a place that is supposed to be about free thought, then show them how free thinking young men and women will respond.

Share this column with anyone you know at university. Help them to embarrass, annoy, and humiliate their intellectual jailers. Do it to such a degree that it exposes these poseurs for the conformist petit bourgeois hacks that they are. Watch the academic lumpen proles stumble around paralyzed and dazed, flummoxed by your fun.

Vive Donald Trump! Vive Victor Laszlo! Vive la Resistance Américain!