This article is part four in a series on preventing mass shootings. It focuses on what families, communities, and mentors can do to intervene in the lives of youths at risk of becoming shooters. It is based on an interview with clinical psychologist Dr. Adam J. Sowa, Ph.D., of Alexandria, Virginia.
The first three articles addressed, respectively, changing the conversation from a “gun debate” to a search for preventive measures; a discussion of existing laws; and a suggestion that we employ immediately what we already know about how to protect physical spaces.
The View of the Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Sowa is a licensed clinical psychologist in Virginia and Maryland who works with children and families that struggle with a variety of issues. They include anxiety and phobias, depression, attention disorders and executive dysfunction, stress, pain, coping with medical illness, as well as learning disabilities, neuropsychological challenges, and developmental issues.
“Part of the problem is that we’re becoming unmoored from the things that ground us in our communities. Everybody’s busy with electronic media, nobody’s in church.”
Dr. Sowa also has extensive experience in conducting psychological and neuropsychological evaluations for children and adolescents who are having trouble in school, coping with traumatic brain injuries, and dealing with developmental or congenital difficulties. I asked him to discuss ways that we can identify and interact with troubled people before they reach the point of committing mass violence. What role can the community at large play in prevention?
Importance of Human Connection
“I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not profound,” Sowa told me. “Most people know intuitively what to do, but we’ve all fallen out of practice.”
“Kids are getting more isolated, more disconnected from their peers, from society, their families, from everything. They need anchors. You hear a lot about the effect of social media. While Columbine happened before the advent of social media, it is true that social media exacerbates the isolation. It underscores the problem that kids who are on the fringes begin to lose all real human connection.”
What can we do about it?
“We can make conscious decisions to be there, face to face, to talk more, engage with them, and don’t back off when they resist the advice. Parents, teachers, other adults need to keep trying, don’t give up. That’s part of it.”
“The other part is, I think, we need to be careful to have three-dimensional relationships with our kids. By that, I mean that if all we do is get caught up in discipline and setting boundaries, we lose them. We have to maintain an atmosphere of love, and of fun, and of teaching life skills. Otherwise, our messages and instructions – the ideas that we’re trying to get through to them – fall out of context. It becomes less relevant, and they no longer care what we have to say.”
Concentric Circles of Caring
Sowa spoke in terms of concentric circles, with the individual and the nuclear family at the center. He described successively larger circles composed of extended family, friends, teachers and community service volunteers like church or Scout leaders, neighbors, and employers. Community mental health practitioners should stand ready as a resource to every circle, but outside them all is the criminal justice system.
… successively larger circles of caring: extended family, friends, teachers, church or Scout leaders, neighbors, and employers. Outside them all is the criminal justice system.
“Family structure is critical to instilling and creating good mental health. But not all families are perfect, and some are dysfunctional. Real life happens. That’s when extended family members have to step in. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins – they all have a stabilizing influence. Although there are families where every member is addicted, or abusive, or otherwise dysfunctional, there is usually someone within the family who can provide some stability.”
As an emotionally challenged individual’s needs transcend the ability of one circle to meet them, those in the outer circles are there to help. There should be several layers between the difficult individual and the police. But as families become disconnected from the community, the divisions between each circle dissolve.
“Part of the problem is that we’re becoming unmoored from the things that ground us in our communities. Everybody’s busy with electronic media, nobody’s in church. It’s not just for morality – it’s for community support. Everybody has a part to play, and parents should make an effort to connect with community institutions that are a traditional part of those outer circles.”
TO BE CONTINUED
