As reported here on OpsLens in April 2018, the Gilchrist County, Florida sheriff’s office lost two deputies when a deranged loner walked up to the Ace China restaurant’s window and opened fire at two law enforcement deputies eating lunch inside. Both Deputies Noel Ramirez, 30, and Taylor Lindsey, 25, were slain right where they shared their last meal together.
Deputy Lindsey was dating Kristin Hite, one of the Gilchrist County sheriff’s dispatchers. Sgt. Ramirez had a wife and children, one of whom is a young boy. That young boy, Noel Ramirez III, has a set of uncles and aunts he could never have imagined and, in typical thin blue line fashion, they showed up en masse to support him for his first day at Chiefland Elementary School. Synonymously, Sgt. Ramirez’s wife was shown what it is like to be the surviving spouse of a fallen comrade. Not really a first glance at such gestures among law enforcers—Sgt. Ramirez’s police funeral exemplified that—but more of a continuum, an inherent altruism among police culture.
As Facebook’s Marcia Gillingham posted: “Sweet. I love the way the sheriffs dept., the police dept., and fire dept. take care of the families of the fallen.” In the aforementioned OpsLens article were the following words: “Sheriff Schultz said it best: ‘The world is full of cowards and the world is full of heroes. We need to highlight those heroes.’ Roger that!” What better way to honor the fallen than to hold up the survivors grieving utterly tragic and inexplicable loss.
With Batman backpack straddled, Ramirez’s son Noel was flanked by his mom on one side and Sheriff Robert “Bobby” Schultz on the other.
A Gilchrist County Sheriff’s Office bulletin espoused the mutually-shared emotions stemming from a tragedy transformed into kind, supportive gestures. “Noel was met with a standing ovation by our deputies as well as others. He was excited to attend his first day of school, but a little shy. Our hope is that some day when he is older, he will look back on this day with fond memories and realize the love and respect we all feel for his Dad. RIP Sgt. Ramirez, knowing GCSO had your son’s back and we will be there to help out any way we can in the days to come.
“Please take a moment to remember Sgt. Ramirez’s kids along with the countless other children of LEOs […] absent a parent on their first day of school, all over the country,” the sheriff’s office media release stated.
Indeed, the numbers of slain cops’ kids preparing for school without a mom or dad…is nothing shy of heartrending. Especially for the youngest ones. If it is nearly impossible for grown warrior law enforcers to wrap heads around the horrific killings of their brothers and sisters, imagine how a young brain somehow attempts to process the unthinkable.
It is true that police work demands rigorously unrelenting schedules warranting being away from home quite often. But, dad or mom eventually comes home at some time. In most cases, not all. My kids never got used to it, but they understood the nature of “daddy’s police job.” Generally, anyway.
“Dedicated to the men and women of law enforcement and their families,” Dr. Ellen Kirschman wrote I Love a Cop: What Police Families Need to Know in 1997. Since then, several revisions have been published. Under the book’s material pertaining to police officers’ children, the Kids and Trauma chapter espouses “giving reassurances” during a crisis and giving “extra time” to the child/children. Naturally, most surviving parents seek to do just that. But it can wear one down when one is also enduring grief and duress from unfathomable circumstances. That is where a phalanx of police personnel (family members) enter the picture and remain there for, well…infinitely.
“If families are at risk for ‘catching’ trauma, children are the most vulnerable family members because they are still learning how to manage their emotions. Children and adolescents, however mature they appear, usually don’t have the social or psychological maturity to understand what has happened to them or to their families when traumatic stress occurs,” explained Dr. Kirschman. Behavioral issues manifesting from separation and safety may ensue. The younger the age, the more raw the situation; it often does take a village.
Teresa Kondek, the powerful material of whom you will soon read here on OpsLens, is a LEO widow whose husband was killed in the line of duty in December 2014. Mrs. Kondek and her children are a living testament to the “blue family” and the unfailing supports her slain husband’s police department continues to selflessly provide. The youngest of Teresa’s children had his high school graduation attended by a swarm of police uniforms. Proms were attended by those in blue. One daughter’s “Sweet Sixteen” milestone was bolstered by a bunch of cops, each one a reminder of her dad’s legacy and fraternal supports for loved ones.
As Teresa Kondek explained: “Every year Charlie brought flowers to work and school for Holly, Aleena, and me for our birthday and Valentine’s Day. On the first birthday without her father, Tarpon Springs PD stepped up to continue the tradition. They surprised her by walking into the cafeteria with balloons and flowers and sang Happy Birthday to her.”
One of her eldest kids had what one may dub a blue wedding; that is to say, in the instance of her dad not being there to walk her down the aisle, police Officer Charles Kondek‘s daughter was escorted by law enforcement, the closest vicarious rekindling with her father’s embrace. Further punctuating the point, Officer Kondek’s daughter’s wedding was presided by a member of the police Honor Guard.
Our story opened with a county sheriff and his deputies escorting a young boy whose dad is one of the blue warriors felled by a malcontent. We talked about the continuum of care and support from cops for slain officers’ loved ones. For cops’ kids, the eventual integer on the spectrum is graduation from school. A recent story out of Texas typifies the blue family’s continuity of care. And as we saw among the Kondek family, police tributes maintain.
Trooper Randall Wade Vetter, a Texas Ranger slain 18 years ago in August 2000, had a diapered infant baby at home while he was being murdered on the streets. That baby is now a grown young man whose high school graduation was a few weeks ago. A Facebook user posted the following attribution, so I will let her share the sentiments and powerful message pertaining to blue family continuum of care:
“Tonight was NBHS graduation. As I was looking for a place to park I saw a group of about 10 or 12 Texas State Troopers walking towards Strahan Coliseum. I thought extra security? Naw, maybe a fellow trooper’s kid graduating? Who knows? After all the hustle and bustle of trying to get inside and seated with my family, I forgot all about it. Once seated and settled in, I look behind the graduates and see more troopers, twice as many or even more. I wondered who they were there to support, likely a fallen fellow trooper’s son or daughter. How kind, caring and supportive, I thought to myself. As the end of the ceremony nears and the first of the “V’s” are announced, we start making our way down the stairs and into the corridor of the coliseum and hear the name of graduate Robert Vetter called, followed by a loud cheer and round of applause.
“It was then that I realized it was the son of fallen Trooper Randall Vetter who all those State Troopers were there to support. He was 8 months old when his father was shot and killed in the line of duty. These men and women are proof of the lifelong bond and commitment that is shared in the law enforcement community.”
No need to expound on the point any further; that very last sentence says all.
