I have always believed that there are certain transition points in life that allow for people to change the course of their lives without causing undue stress and anguish. This is because these points are already a natural segue due to the interruption of normal daily life functions. For example, someone transitioning careers would have a much easier time going back to school due to the fact that they are already having to completely rethink their work options. An even better example would be looking at high school students who are graduating. Their friends will typically be dispersing, they are changing from being legal minors to adults, and they no longer have the mandatory attendance at high school. These changes make it simple, or simpler, for them to break out on their own and begin a new life. Unfortunately, for many Generation X parents this seems to be a very foreign concept and idea.
Case in point: Mark and Christina Rotondo from the state of New York. This couple has a son named Michael who lives with them. This would not be an issue, except for the fact that Michael is thirty years old…and the parents are having to go through a legal eviction process in order to force him out of the house.
The parents started this process at the beginning of last February when they gave him the following notice:
Michael,
After a discussion with your Mother, we have decided that you must leave this house immediately. You have 14 days to vacate. You will not be allowed to return. We will take whatever actions are necessary to enforce this decision.
Mark and Christina Rotondo
Apparently this did not lead to any discernable movement on the part of their son, so twelve days later they followed up their initial notice with the following:
Michael Joseph Rotondo,
You are hereby evicted from *** ********ridge Drive, Camillus, New York effective immediately. You have heretofore been our guest and there is no lease or agreement that gives you any right to stay here without our consent. On the advice of our lawyer we have decided to grant you up to thirty (30) days from the date shown above to remove your possessions and vacate the premises. A legal enforcement procedure will be instituted immediately if you do not leave by 15 March 2018. Any action that you take that can be construed as threatening or harassing or to us or prevents or obstructs our ability to use the house or property at *** ********ridge Drive as we see fit will result in your immediate removal from the premises.
Christina Rotondo, Owner *** ********ridge Drive
Mark Rotondo, Spouse
In a final plea, the Rotondo’s gave their son one final notification on 18 February.
Michael,
Here is $1,100 from us to you so you can find a place to stay.
Some advice:
1) Organize the things you need for work and to manage an apartment. Note: You will need stuff at Paul Ave. You must arrange the date and time through your Father so he can set it up with the tenant.
2) Sell the other things you have that have any significant value, (e.g. stereo, some tools etc.). This is especially true for any weapons you may have. You need the money and will have no place for the stuff.
3) There are jobs available even for those with a poor work history like you. Get one – you have to work!
4) If you want help finding a place your Mother has offered to help you.
Christina and Mark Rotondo
When Michael failed to move out, his parents filed court action against him. In the end, the courts agreed with the parents and ordered for Michael to be removed from the premises.
In complete fairness, I do not know the specifics of the Rotondos’ situation. The only background that I have gleaned is from the news articles I have read. With that disclaimer put out, I have to ask what the parents were thinking? According to an article by Fox News, “Michael also said he lived at his parents’ house for eight years and has never been expected to contribute to expenses and do chores.” At any point in this man’s life has he ever had any responsibility thrust upon him at all?
I am an absolute believer in karma. Not in a mystical or spiritual sense, but in the simple truth that you reap what you sow. With this being the case, I have to look at the parents in complete disbelief. I understand that as parents we always feel a need to protect our children. Yet somewhere along the way that protection has morphed into a belief that we must be responsible for our children’s bad judgement. It is the overprotective belief that has created the world we live in. In this new world, children are never responsible for their actions because the fact is that children are never held responsible. Even when that child is over twenty years old. These parents allowed for their son to live in their house for years without any expectations of him. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Rotondo, he definitely met your expectations of him. Worst yet, I am fairly sure that your inability to place higher expectations on him while he lived with you ensured his failure throughout his life.
Being a parent is in many ways the same as being a leader in the military. You have days where you look at your children and troops in total disbelief at their capacity for making incredibly asinine choices. Often the first reaction is to fix it for them. Sometimes this reaction is for simplicity sake (it is easier to fix it yourself than try to explain it), sometimes it is out of embarrassment (fix it before someone realizes that someone you are responsible for did it), and sometimes it is out of misguided love or loyalty (they tried so hard, I’ll just fix it for them instead of hurting their feelings). But in all cases, it retards their development. Life is full of disappointment, rejection, and failure. Children and adults need to be held accountable for their choices and deal with the consequences. Without learning these lessons as children, and continuing into adulthood, you end up with a 30-year-old man refusing to leave his parents home.
I even watched a video where Alex Jones from InfoWars interviewed Michael. Jones, who I feel is a truly disgusting individual (one who thought that the Sandy Hook school shooting was a government coverup and was subsequently sued by several of the victims’ families). He lectured Michael on his presumptive slothfulness and his need to essentially grow up and be a man. He tells the man that he is clearly smart but lost and without motivation and direction. Jones hits the nail right on the head for the majority of the interview. Then at the end of the interview, he gives Michael $3000. So, you lecture someone on the need to earn their way through this world, tell them they need to learn to appreciate hard work and the self-respect that comes from earning your way from this world. Then you flush this all away by giving him more welfare and thus continue to enable his privileged lifestyle?
Mike Rowe once said in a letter to a young man, “The world is full of gifted athletes, academic geniuses, decorated war heroes, and former Eagle Scouts who have gone on to lead miserable lives of failure and regret.” I could not agree more. After watching several interviews with Michael Rotondo, I don’t see much in his future except for a continuing lack of responsibility. As Rowe continues to state in his letter, children today are brought up to be more concerned about their own self-worth than work ethic and ambition. Clearly Rotondo lives in a delusional world where he believes his inflated self-worth dictates a level of reverence from those around him.
Let this be a lesson to all the parents out there when determining how much responsibility to take off the shoulders of your children. You may just be transferring that responsibility to yourself for many decades to come.
