In the aftermath of such tragedy, kids will look for places of safety and understanding.
On February 14, 17 students and staff from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School were killed in one of the most deadly school shootings America has seen.
Gunman Nikolas Jacob Cruz, 19, was a former student who had been expelled from the high school. He was active on social media, posting negative and violent comments directed at numerous racial and social groups.
He was an active gun enthusiast, posting pictures and comments on social media about guns. According to officials, Cruz purchased the gun that he used in this shooting legally.
In the wake of such tragedy, what should you say to your own children? Whether they are students in first or tenth grade, here are a few things you can say that will help start the conversation.
What happened?
Gun control is one of the most divisive issues facing our country. Some argue that incidents like this stem from mental health issues, while others look for stricter gun control laws that may prevent weapons from being as available.
Cruz used an AK-15 semiautomatic rifle, which he brought to the school in a black duffel bag and backpack. Before firing any shots, Cruz pulled the school’s fire alarm, causing students, faculty, and staff to begin evacuating. As people started to fill the hallways, Cruz opened fire.
Multiple reports state that the shooting lasted for around 4 minutes, on both the first and second floors. Cruz discarded his weapon and things in a stairwell, evacuating the school with other frightened students.
Cruz proceeded to stop at a Subway and McDonald’s. He was later picked up approximately an hour later in a nearby neighborhood. Security footage from the school was used to identify Cruz as the gunman. He was arrested without incident.
Cruz has been charged with 17 count of premeditated murder and is being held without bail.
Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School is located in Parkland, Florida.
Many members of the Parkland community and nationally have called on President Trump and lawmakers to take action on gun reform. Gun control is one of the most divisive issues facing our country. Some argue that incidents like this stem from mental health issues, while others look for stricter gun control laws that may prevent weapons from being as available.
After the deadly Florida high school shooting, some lawmakers are calling for mental health reforms, while others asking for stricter gun control. https://t.co/HTss4FCbVV pic.twitter.com/whVpZAuTk7
— ABC News (@ABC) February 16, 2018
“You can trust what I say”
They should have a source of information that they can trust who will tell them the true facts.
Children and parents all over the country face another school day in the wake of this tragedy. Understandably, many students have questions about what happened. It is important to tell them the truth.
Keep in mind the appropriateness of sharing every detail, especially with younger children. Chances are older kids will be hearing and seeing every detail in the media, so you may want to address everything with them. With younger children, it is important to keep the facts true but consider keeping them general. Include an opportunity for them to ask questions. They may have heard details that they don’t understand or that need additional explanation.
The bottom line is that kids today are bombarded with information and this does not change in the aftermath of tragedies such as what happened in Parkland. They should have a source of information that they can trust who will tell them the true facts.
“Let’s develop a plan”
Discussing what individuals in these situations did to keep themselves and others safe, such as taking shelter or calling the police, can be helpful for kids to understand.
One of the most frightening aspects of a tragedy like the Florida school shooting or last year’s shooting at a Las Vegas concert is that it occurs abruptly. Those involved are left with little to do other than react. Developing and talking through a plan of action in case they are ever in a situation where they are in danger can help them feel more comfortable.
Make sure that they know how to inform someone when they see something alarming or do not feel safe. In the case of Parkland, students notified school staff when they realized that Cruz had weapons. Others called 911 to report the shooting. This allowed the swift response of law enforcement officers and ultimately led to the arrest of the gunman.
Discussing what individuals in these situations did to keep themselves and others safe, such as taking shelter or calling the police, can be helpful for kids to understand. This also provides children with the security of having a plan to help them stay safe.
“Do you need to talk?”
Tell your kids that it is okay to talk to someone about how they are feeling and what they need.
After every act of unimaginable violence, the perpetrator’s mental health comes into question. Sometimes, as in the case of Cruz, there were warning signs of an unhealthy mental state. Other times, the act comes as a shock to everyone. In any situation, talking to a trusted confidant can help process complex feelings. Make sure that your own kids know the importance of reaching out for help, whether for themselves or someone they know.
Tell your kids that it is okay to talk to someone about how they are feeling and what they need. After traumatic events such as a school shooting, it is common for children to empathize with the victims. This is especially true for young children who may not know how to handle these emotions. If professional guidance is needed, seek out appropriate resources in your area.
In the aftermath of such tragedy, kids will look for places of safety and understanding. It is hard for adults to process and make sense of insensible actions that result in such a loss of life. It is even harder for children who do not have the same perspective and benefit of experience. Talking to them about what happened and what they can do to process the event can restore a sense of safety.
