Pity AOC. She’s finally number one at something, as she is undoubtedly the dumbest member of Congress. There are certified cretins like Hank Johnson and Maxine Waters, true. However, they pale in comparison to the overwhelming imbecility of the Babbling Bartender of the Bronx.
So just when she could put that gold star in her special-needs diary, along comes a white male, a scion of the patriarchy, a West Coast Dem who not only is contesting her for Monarch of Duh, but whose recent utterances may prove decisive in his obvious campaign for the top slow-learning slot.
AOC, meet Eric Swalwell, your own personal Captain Buzzkill.
What has vaulted Swalwell to contention? Tuesday, sucking up to the PC Hagatha crowd, he opined, “Do you know how many times the word ‘Woman’ is mentioned in the Constitution? Zero.”
Wags quickly fired back with “Do you know how many times the word ‘Man’ is mentioned in the Constitution? Zero” and “The words ‘people’, ‘person’, and ‘citizens’ are used dozens of times, and the last time I checked women were all three of these things.”
Game, set, match.
Though that’s not a full expression of Eric’s genius. Last year he actually suggested that the feds could use nuclear weapons against American citizens who would not give up their Second Amendment rights. I’m making that up? Research it yourself. Yes, Eric is that over-the-top stupid.
So AOC is going to really have to step up her game to retain number one ranking. I suggest a congressional hearing on the wide historical ramifications of the film “Clueless” (not that I have any issue with the movie for obvious reasons. In fact I think in the country of my blood, Colombia, there is a network that plays it 24/7 in continuous loop), a fact-finding tour to discover the true whereabouts of that divisive symbol of religious oppression, the Easter Bunny, and/or making the main message of her re-election campaign the health insurance challenges of people who have helium canisters lodged in their larynx.
Nonetheless, unintentional political comedy is a harsh mistress, and at any moment in any place in America a politician may open their yap and make a lobotomized dark horse run for the money. For those of us who relish such things in lieu of the soul-crushing boredom of government and legislation, the Democratic Party has truly made America great again.
