Of course they do! But that joke writes itself.
As expected, various celebs and apparently part-time constitutional scholars have let us mere peasants know their wisdom on the Alabama abortion bill. The responses range from the weird to the cretinous, not to mention the depraved. Though hey! That’s Hollywood! Not the good one in Florida I grew up in. The airhead commie perv one in California. Let’s see…
John Cusack who used to be an amusing actor, especially in the classic “High Fidelity,” wants us to know that “people in the streets” will rise up to confirm his pro-baby mangling sagacity. You mean the feces-laden streets of L.A., John? If so, they’ll have to step very carefully. Sadly, he proves here and in other moronic utterances he never deserved Kate Beckinsale in “Serendipity.”
Film Director Ava DuVernay (is that a person’s name or a cheap Pinot Grigio?) says “It’s Alabama and abortion today. It’s you and your rights tomorrow.” Okay, gotta admit it: have kinda heard the name, but have no idea who this is. No doubt Tinseltown inside baseball here. She probably made a conformist movie on a PC-approved subject that all the usual suspects went wild for. That, of course, makes her worth listening to on this matter and any other that requires great proficiency in making sock puppet actors speak without sounding as if they’ve recently had a stroke.
Captain America, better named Captain Imbecylvania, Chris Evans calls the Bama bill “unbelievable.” No lad. What is unbelievable is that sentient adults shell out money to see your awful movies. Oh, I stand corrected. Your average fan is a 12-year-old boy or his emotional equivalent. BTW: glue-munching Hollywood leftism is not considered a super power. More like a learning disability.
The least funny woman on the planet, Chelsea Handler, right after her recent nervous breakdown…oh, hold on. She didn’t have a nervous breakdown? That’s her normal look? Holy f***. Anyway, Chelsea wonders, “I’d like to know how many of those men (Bama pols who supported the bill. Though a female governor signed it) know exactly what it is like to be a woman.” Whoa Nelly! Your pals tell us gender is a social construct and thus anybody can be anybody. Are you selling out your gender-bending allies? If so, better watch out. You could lose one of the six fans you have left.
John Legend, a musician of some sort, I think, says an “all-out war on women” is being waged by Alabama and other state governments. All-out war? I must have missed Alabama’s armor assault on NOW or their clever midnight airborne landing on the Oprah set. And war, Mr. Legend? What in the world would you and your coddled pampered ilk know of that?
Reese Witherspoon, that noted MENSA member, calls the measure “unconstitutional.” Repeat after me, Reese: “’Legally Blonde’ was just a movie. ‘Legally Blonde’ was…”
And former something or other Michelle Wolf (okay, fine, Chelsea Handler is funnier than her) with all the dignity and grace she can muster, advises women of the grand amusement of “flicking an embryo out of a uterus.” Yes, a traumatic experience for a woman and the murder of a baby is nonchalantly accomplished by a “flick.”
That last line from Wolf, in its depraved narcissistic totality, encompasses the ethos and compassion level of the preening befuddled celebs who would lecture the rest of us on morality and politics while leading lives that would make Elagabalus faint with mortification.
On the other hand, every time Hollywood speaks another moderate voter jumps the fence to the GOP. So, thanks guys! You’ll be a real asset in the president’s reelection effort. Thus, you’ll finally have a legitimate reason to be famous.
