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By Madelaine Claire Weiss, LICSW, MBA, BCC
Harvard-trained Licensed Psychotherapist
Board-certified Executive, Career, & Life Coach
A Personal Beginning
When I was fifteen years old, my father — a successful business owner — died suddenly of a stroke at just forty-two. At the time, I was grounded for once again “speaking truth to power,” and was therefore convinced his death was my fault. It wasn’t until years later, in one of her finest moments of compassion, that my mother reassured me: “No, honey, it wasn’t you. It was work.”
In Japan, there’s even a word for it: karoshi — death by overwork. Sometimes it comes as a heart attack or stroke, other times as despair leading to suicide. In my father’s case, whether it was a biological event waiting to happen or truly the grind of overwork, the result was the same. And he was not alone. Roughly 120,000 people die every year in the United States from work-related stress causes, and around 750,000 across the globe.
This early loss shaped me. It’s no surprise that I dedicated my career to helping professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs thrive in both work and life. And one thing I have learned over decades of practice is this: nothing shapes our lives — or our health — more than the decisions we make, moment by moment, day after day.
The Weight of 35,000 Decisions
Research suggests the average adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. Of course, many, if not most, are small — what to wear, which email to answer first, whether to have another cup of coffee. But even the smallest choices accumulate, shaping how we use our time, our energy, and ultimately our well-being.
When you add in the high-stakes decisions that professionals, entrepreneurs, and leaders face daily — decisions that impact livelihoods, investments, reputations, even lives — the weight of decision-making becomes enormous.
It’s no wonder we experience decision fatigue, the mental exhaustion that comes from making too many choices. Neuroscience shows that the more decisions we face, the less mental energy we have left for the ones that truly matter.
The business press has caught on. Forbes recently suggested that decision-making effectiveness should be at the top of every company’s agenda — a great idea for our volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous world, which leaders have long called VUCA. The term is still widely used, though newer frameworks such as BANI (Brittle, Anxious, Nonlinear, Incomprehensible) have emerged to capture today’s more emotionally charged and nonlinear challenges. Whether you prefer VUCA or BANI, the message is clear: navigating disruption requires better decision-making than ever before.
And at 35,000 decisions a day, improving the quality of even a fraction of them can transform your work — and your life.
Beyond the Story
Here’s the catch: we think we see the world as it is, but we don’t.
Our senses bombard the brain with 11 million bits of information per second. Yet our conscious mind can only process a fraction of that. So, our brains get busy filtering, editing, and stitching together a version of reality based on past experiences, future desires, fears, assumptions, and biases.
In other words, what we take as “reality” is a story our brain creates to make sense of overwhelming complexity—basically so we don’t lose it! It’s a useful survival mechanism — but also a trap.
If you can recognize that you are living inside a story you created, you can also recreate that story. You can begin to see where hesitation, overconfidence, or blind spots creep in. You can make better, bolder choices — and invite others’ perspectives to help you fill the gaps your story leaves out.
Trap #1: Hesitation and the Myth of Perfect Information
One of the most dangerous decision-making traps is waiting for perfect clarity.
There’s a medieval parable about Buridan’s Ass — an animal placed between two equally appealing bales of hay. Unable to decide which to eat, the donkey waits for more information and eventually starves to death. Modern philosophers, scientists, and psychologists have used this parable to illustrate a simple truth: the harder a choice feels, the more likely it is that the options are equally viable.
That is, if one option were clearly better, the decision wouldn’t be hard at all—we’d just pick the better one. Decisions are hard when the plusses and minuses are about equal among the options. In that case, instead of thinking harder and longer, the smartest move is often to just pick one and commit to making it work.
But alas, for some, even the act of deciding itself feels risky—because it opens the door to mistakes. Many would rather do nothing at all than face that. So, many people, when faced with tough decisions, stall. They wait for data that never comes, or reassurance that the risk will disappear.
And while they hesitate, opportunities slip away — or worse, competitors surge ahead. Moreover, as we’ve said, by exhausting their brains with all the back-and-forth-and-back-and-forth of indecision, they are undermining the quality of the decisions they eventually do make.
Hesitation doesn’t just weaken our results — it also erodes trust. Research shows that when people see someone hesitate in deciding, they are about twice as likely to go against that decision.
Courage matters. Yale research has shown that problem-solving is optimized when we step outside our comfort zones, where learning and action combine. People are often happier down the line when they choose boldly, rather than clinging to the status quo.
As philosopher and psychologist William James once put it: “Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.”
Trap #2: The Isolation of “CEO Disease”
The second trap is subtler — and more insidious. It’s what leadership scholars call CEO Disease, the tendency of decision-makers, including but not limited to CEOs, to live in a feedback vacuum.
Overconfidence, ego, or simple isolation can convince us we know more than we do. Employees and colleagues, meanwhile, may hesitate to challenge us — whether out of fear of reprisal or reluctance to bruise egos. Add in what psychologists call FOFO (fear of finding out something we don’t want to know), and suddenly we are making major decisions with dangerously limited perspective.
Again, this doesn’t just apply to CEOs. Entrepreneurs, consultants, and professionals of all kinds can fall into the same trap. The story we tell ourselves feels so real that we forget it’s just one version of events — and we close ourselves off from other eyes, ears, and minds that could save us from costly mistakes.
A Case Study: Alex’s Turning Point
Take the case of Alex, a rising director in a mid-sized company. Alex was being considered for a top executive role, but the promotion was delayed until he addressed what his colleagues described as “anger issues.”
In our work together, Alex revealed a story he had carried since childhood. As a boy, he believed he could have managed the family better than his parents did. As an adult, he unconsciously reenacted this story at work, constantly trying — and failing — to persuade those above him to do things his way.
This relentless dynamic fueled his frustration and outbursts. He was trapped in his story, unable to move beyond it.
One day, I explained to Alex that adults often replay childhood patterns in the workplace, unconsciously trying to master situations that once felt out of their control. He had a choice: keep banging his head against the wall of leadership’s resistance, or recognize the story for what it was and chart a new path.
Alex chose the latter. He eventually launched his own company, this time surrounding himself with trusted partners whose perspectives he valued. By deliberately seeking out feedback to ward off CEO Disease, Alex created not only a successful business but also a healthier life for himself and his family.
Practical Takeaways for Peak Decision-Making
So how do you, as a professional striving for peak performance, apply these lessons?
- Recognize the story in your head. Remember that what feels like “reality” is your brain’s constructed version of it. Stay curious about what you might be missing.
- Don’t wait for perfect clarity. Hard decisions are usually hard because both paths carry promise and risk. Choose boldly rather than stall into fatigue.
- Beware isolation. Whether you’re a CEO or a freelancer, seek feedback actively. Don’t let ego or fear of criticism close you off.
- Step outside your comfort zone. Growth and better problem-solving often live outside of familiarity. If it feels a little uncomfortable, that’s often where the breakthrough lies.
- Act — then adapt. The best decisions aren’t flawless; they’re timely. Make your choice, take action, and refine as new information comes.
Or, as I like to say, “It’s not the decisions we make as much as what we make of those decisions that makes all the difference in our lives.”
Moving Forward
My father promised his mother on her deathbed that he would take care of the family business. He carried that promise as a story in his head — perhaps more rigidly than she ever intended. Even if someone had urged him to ease up, I doubt he could have truly taken that in.
But we can. We can go beyond the story that limits us. We can resist the paralysis of overthinking, the illusion of perfect information, and the isolation of CEO Disease.
Every day, you face thousands of decisions. Most will be small. A few will shape your career, your health, your relationships, and even your legacy. By going beyond the story, choosing boldly, and staying open to others’ perspectives, you can optimize decision-making — not just for better results at work, but for a fuller, healthier, more meaningful life.
For help with this or something else, visit Madelaine’s website or contact her directly at [email protected]
Author Bio
Madelaine Claire Weiss, LICSW, MBA, BCC, is a Harvard-trained psychotherapist, mindset expert, and board-certified executive, career, and life coach. She is the bestselling author of Getting to G.R.E.A.T.: A 5-Step Strategy for Work and Life and the new children’s workbook What’s Your Story? Building Your Best Adventures in School and Life. A frequent media guest and contributor to outlets including CEOWorld Magazine, NBC, Harvard Law School, and the Wharton Innovation Summit, Madelaine helps professionals and families optimize performance, resilience, and well-being.
Image by Freepik
