Sure you do.
I work a lot in DC, and while not anything close to a member of that august group, I deal with those folks on a pretty constant basis. Let me tell you, they are having fun.
Stroll into work about 9-ish, check Facebook, send out a nice organizing email for the Democratic Socialists of America DSA, make a pretense of work, then take lunch on the federal coin at somewhere like Bistro Bis. Generally repeat in the afternoon. Go home and relax with a chardonnay/craft beer and an LGBTQ documentary on Netflix.
See? Easy.
But getting there is the hard part. Let me go all Screwtape on you.
In my days as a political consultant when we had an open seat, or a race we doubted we could win, we’d fan out and find some young gullible teacher or lawyer or an egomaniacal middle-aged businessman/businesschick (not a real word, added to upset any feminists reading this). To the young we would stress ideology and upward mobility. To the elders, who were probably at the point career-wise they wanted to be at when they were twenty-five and thus were now bored, we’d stress new unboring horizons and the ability to keep bossing people around.
To both, after they took the narcissistic bait, we’d organize what we privately termed the “All This Can Be Yours” tour of a state capitol or DC, depending on the race. We’d lead the rubes around by the nose, the day festooned with lunch at a place like Ebbitt, and we’d organize a surprise call to these lambs by an elected official they’d only seen in the news. Suitably wowed, they’d take the bait and sign onto any suicide mission.
For those who actually had a chance, we’d take over their campaigns; explain to them they were just a product and that there was a difference between government and politics. They wanted to govern and have the associated perks. But to get there they had to engage in politics and we held the keys to that particular kingdom. So, do as you’re told between now and the next election and, unless someone else offers us more money to sell you out (not really, but it cemented our mercenary street cred), we’ll do our level best to get ourselves a victory bonus.
If they were slated for the slaughter then we would make sure to shepherd them until they got on the ballot. After that, we’d ignore their calls unless it was to inform them of a media buy we had orchestrated so we could get the 15 percent media override. Some surprised us, stepped up to the plate, and made a go of it. Some actually won. However, the majority faded into palooka obscurity, not willing to do the fundraising it took to make their candidacies viable.
If they got in these fools would soon start to believe their own agitprop, as they’re surrounded by dozens, sometimes hundreds, of people who owe their living to the fact this cretin has been elected to something. So, guess what? The hangers-on do all in their power to make the new elected official happy, which means indulging in the most absurd charades to puff up the ego of the walking ATM machine who grants them a paycheck.
No, hold on, you’re thinking.
The Deep State are the covert bureaucrats who subvert the will of the people, right?
Wellllllll…
Those faceless automatons usually come to DC like remora fish latched on firmly to a host who is most times an elected official. So, want to remove the remoras? Kill the hosts. No, not literally you lunatics.
Term limits. Six terms in the House, three in the Senate should be enough time to bring them up to speed, at least the sharper ones, but not enough time to make it a career for most of them. And when the hosts go back home, many of the remoras will return to whatever slimy ponds from which they swam.
Of course, those in office now would never permit it. You’re asking them to reform a system from which they benefit. The multipartisan political/legal class who run this country for themselves would have a public seizure if they were ever accountable to anybody but each other. That’s why we saw the spectacle last election of the Bushes and Obamas cuddling up to each other against the non-career pol new president. It even went so far, reputedly, as Trump finished his inauguration speech, of George W. Bush commenting sotto voce, “That’s some crazy shi*.” To the always fine man, but for the most part underwhelming president who was W, no doubt it is.
Only from the bottom up, real populism, could the rules of the game be changed. But since most voters are easily swayed by emotional appeals and hate Congress, but have a soft spot for their own member of Congress, the day of the elected forty-year sinecurist is far from over. Which then means your spot in the Deep State is wonderfully secure. Get it?
So prepare yourself for a professional life of trendy resistance, bereft of need for result or progress that would be your tragic fate if you worked in the private sector. Your unlimited Uber card and foreign junket Frequent Flyer Club membership awaits!
Only one problem. Things could get awkward if that Trump guy somehow holds on to the House and the subsequent scent in the wind makes it possible that this responsible and accountable to the people government fad could have legs. With another bout of overreaching deep state hubris and the attendant meltdown, who knows how far Trump could push his war against the entrenched political class?
Can he pull that off? History says he can’t. But Trump regularly treats precedent like the Kobayashi Maru scenario.
Thus, this could get sporty.
