How do you talk about appropriate sexual conduct with your children who will no doubt face a very different workplace than we did or do?
NBC announced on Wednesday that Matt Lauer, long-time host of the “Today” show, was fired for “inappropriate sexual behavior” in the workplace.
This is only the latest in a long string of reports filed against prominent political and media figures in recent months. Most notably, media mogul Harvey Weinstein was accused by over 30 women of sexual harassment and assault. CBS’s Charlie Rose, The New York Times’ Glenn Thrush, Senator Al Franken, and Senate candidate Roy Moore have all been accused of sexual misconduct, ranging from inappropriate comments to sexual assault.
Understandably, the public is outraged at these alleged crimes. News coverage is reeling with each new report. It seems to be everywhere and everything.
So how do you talk about appropriate sexual conduct with your children who will no doubt face a very different workplace than we did or do?
Today’s environment
The reality of being a kid today includes dealing with adult-issues at an early age. Elementary school students are faced with bullying and body-shaming. Middle schools have random drug sweeps. Students of all ages are part of an increasingly sexualized environment.
Be prepared to answer your children’s questions, thought it may be uncomfortable or awkward. Providing them with information helps equip them to deal with what they see when you aren’t there.
Having these conversations can be difficult. But preparing children for the world that they face is a critical part of a parents’ job.
The #MeToo movement on social media is credited with empowering those who have experienced sexual harassment or assault to come forward. Social media users were invited to use the #MeToo to share their own experiences with sexual harassment or assault. Fortune reported that over 6 million Facebook users were “talking about” #MeToo.
As avid consumers of social media, kids are very likely to see the effects of the #MeToo movement and reports of sexual misconduct by prominent figures reported in the media. It is important for parents to realize that their kids are aware of what is going on.
Teachable moments
Conversations about appropriate sexual conduct should not be limited to girls. Boys can and do experience sexual harassment and assault as well. These situations offer teachable moments for both boys and girls about appropriate workplace conduct and the meaning of consent.
Even young children can benefit from conversations about what it means to show respect to others physically. If your children are too young to fully understand the intricacies of sexual behavior, the same lessons can be discussed about not touching others without their permission.
“It’s important to let children know they are allowed to say ‘no’ to touches that make them uncomfortable,” the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) advises. “This message isn’t obvious to children, who are often taught to be obedient and follow the rules. Support your child if they say no, even if it puts you in an uncomfortable position.”
Sexual abuse is a challenging topic to discuss, especially when talking about protecting your children. Read more: https://t.co/u24Pgu2orW
— RAINN (@RAINN) November 28, 2017
Power and control
It is also important to note the difference in power and influence between many of the accusers and the accused. In many cases, the accused is a prominent figure, with influence over hiring and firing, as well as job promotions. This creates an unequal balance of power. Victims often report feeling unable to report for fear of reprimands or consequences.
“While I hate that there are so many women being harassed, each time a story comes out, it’s just one more example to point to and show my son that it doesn’t matter who you are and what power you possess, harassment as well as taking advantage of anyone in the workplace is never acceptable,” Norman Nathman, editor of GrokNation, told CNN.
Invite your children to participate in the conversation. Asking them what they think about what they are hearing and seeing “shows them that you value their point of view and opens up the door for more conversation,” states RAINN.
Having these conversations can be difficult. But preparing children for the world that they face is a critical part of a parents’ job. As conversations about respect and boundaries increase, the hope is that these things will increase in the workplaces of our children as well.
